Thursday, February 6, 2014

The SEO Kama Sutra…Position is Everything with Keywords




The phrase Kama actually means ‘sexual pleasure’. In the Hindi philosophy, it is one of the four stepping stones to enlightenment and living a fulfilled life.






Those Hindis had something right.

The Kama Sutra is less about technique than it is positioning. See, in the right position, both parties can achieve fantastic, simultaneous orgasms that will leave them feeling like jelly. In the wrong position, their orgasm fizzles for a minute and then falls flat in the most disappointing way. Weirdly, the most successful positions aren’t usually the ones you would assume.

The same goes for SEO. The most successful positions for keywords are often positions that no one thinks about at all.

First, you need to start on the top. Just like the top is the spot where the first orgasm is achieved, the top is the spot that gets the most attention from Google. When writing an article or posting a video, your keyword should be listed in your title. That’s obvious.

But what most people forget is their meta description. A meta description is a short blurb that informs your reader of what the article is about. When you don’t enter your own meta, Google will pull that meta from the beginning of your article.

If your keywords aren’t in there, you will be shit out of luck. When possible, I recommend using a plug in that allows you to enter your own meta description. However, if it’s not possible, you need to make sure that the keyword appears in the meta at least once by putting it into your article within the first paragraph.

Also, why does no one use header tags anymore? Headers tags are kind of like lube. You don’t really need it, but when you use it, everything works much better.  A header tag shows Google that you consider something to be more important, and it gets more attention from Google. Remember, much like lube, header tags should be used sparingly.

Finally, keywords in the URL are incredibly important. If you are using a site like WordPress, never allow it to default to a gibberish URL. Write your own and make sure the keywords are in it. Keywords in the URL are like good oral sex. They aren’t everything everything, but they set the right mood.

Positioning your keywords is just as important as picking the right ones. Much like the Kama Sutra, with a few minor adjustments in position, you could go from a deflating disappointment, to an exploding page rank in no time.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Content Management – A Professional Escort or a $5 Whore




I will admit I have woefully neglected this blog. I have a problem. I am much better at maintaining a monogamous relationship with the occasional three-way, than I am maintaining a polygamous relationship with several needy partners. I will always pick favorites. In this case, my favorite is Essa on Everything, because it lets me do dirty, dirty things to it. This site is more of my ‘missionary only with the occasional doggy style’ partner. It might be boring, but it deserves my attention, so I will try to treat it better in the future.

Today’s post is about content management, with a focus on articles as opposed to other media, as articles tend to be the most search engine easy.  

It amazes me that people still go to low end content mills or hire someone who charges $1.25 to get their content for their sites, out of simple cheapness. Especially when that cheap, broken English content winds up costing them more in the end.

To give you a basis of comparison, I will bring up the world’s oldest profession; prostitution.

Let me break it down for you. I recently watched a documentary called “Whore’s Glory”. In this documentary, the makers took a look at several different…let’s call them Bordellos. I like that word.

Anyway, the worst bordello they looked at was mainly a strip of cheap hotel rooms in a rural Mexican town. There, hookers sold their wares for the American equivalent of $25.



Sounds like a good deal right? That’s until you get down to the brass tacks of it all.

See, $25 didn’t get you just anything. It got you 10 minutes, one position, no oral, no anal, and a very likely case of herpes. These chicks worked in volume, so if you were one of their customers, there was very likely chance you were the 20th dude they’d been with that day, leading them to giving a halfhearted, exhausted effort…and a scorching case of syphilis.   

In short, the price was low but the service was subpar and the long term results of said service would only hurt you in the end.   

Compare that to a high-end call girl.

In Thailand, there was a high end club where a bunch of clean looking women sat in a glass case, with prices already listed. There was no haggling. Payment at the register bought them for the night, for an American equivalent of anywhere from $500 to $1000.



Here’s the deal; unless you were into some real kinky shit, that price covered everything. The girls were experienced, charming and tested regularly for STDs. They rarely had more than 1 client a day. They weren’t exhausted. They were enthusiastic and looked forward to having clients.

The guys that paid those girls got a night to remember from an experienced, enthusiastic professional, who was pretty, presentable in public places if they wanted to go out, and wasn’t going to give them Gonorrhea.

They paid a higher price, but it paid off in dividends, as these girls didn’t work in volume. They worked in quality. They did an excellent job in the hopes that the client would return. Most of the men had memories to store in their spank bank that would keep them happy for 100 lonely nights.

They pay more, but they get far more value for their dollar.

I have worked as a content manager for several clients and I have seen consistently that quality beats quantity every time.

I used to work for an affiliate marketer who had at least 10 different websites running. In order to keep content coming in, he bought that content from the cheapest people he could find. The articles I received for posting were poorly worded, keyword stuffed, messes of things that were an embarrassment to the human language.

Those articles usually managed to make it to the first page of Google for about 6 hours before they would be plummeted to the darkest depths of Page Rank, or banned by Google entirely.

Then, I had a higher end client who sold jewelry. When we were hiring content writers, even for something as small as 300 word product descriptions, she said to me “don’t focus on price. Instead, hire the best writers who can deliver on the most consistent basis.”

As a result, her page rank is steadily climbing, even though she doesn’t post nearly as often as my affiliate marketer. Also, her website has never been banned and I’ve never had to use a proxy (the internets' equivalent of a condom) to post her articles.

I get that people are busy and that they don’t have time to write all their own articles. Believe me; I have had more than a few blogs that I have abandoned due to lack of time. But if you’re going to hire content writers, you’re pretty much flushing money down the toilet if you’re going to Fiverr and buying 50 articles for $5 a piece.

Where do you think they’re getting those articles? They’re scraping them from the internet and spinning them. You’re getting something used, useless and completely boring that is eventually going to give you the Google equivalent of an STD.

But when you buy quality, you buy a product that keeps on giving.

Google has made it clear with the updates of Panda, Penguin and now, Hummingbird, that they are done with dirty $5 whores clustering up their front pages. They want to show of the classy pages that make them look good. They want to show the pages that keep their clientele coming back for more.

And they don’t want their clients to have to worry about getting viruses after visiting those pages.