For a Good Time CLICK HERE…The Relevance of Relevance

Whenever you hear the phrase, ‘for a good time call...’, don’t you want to call Jenny?

Even though there was no real Jenny, this song actually caused a fad, with people calling the number 867-5309 and asking for Jenny.

Why? Referrals of  course! Apparently, someone was satisfied with Jenny's ability suck the chrome off a trailer hitch. He wanted to share his pleasurable experience, so he wrote her name and number on a bathroom wall. Jenny became the authority on having a good time. 

So when it was time to have a good time, they called Jenny.

Backlinks are your name on a bathroom wall. They get your name out there as an authority on something; whether or not it be your lack of gag reflex. They make people go to you for advice when someone searches a keyword.

If someone finds your page, they might decide to link to one of your articles on their page. This creates a credibility bump, because someone thinks you’re relevant enough to link to you. This can also help with keywords, as long as they use the right anchor words.

Anchor words are the click-able words that redirect someone to your site. For example, the phrase ‘conservatives like to be dominated in bed’ takes you to Rush Limbaugh’s page. Then, he becomes bit closer to being on authority on the subject of rich white men who like to be spanked during sex. .

You’re welcome Mr. Limbaugh.

Of course, you have little control over getting people to link to your page. For that, you need a cross link marketing campaign and friends.

Sorry if you don’t have any friends. For that I can’t help you. You could always do like I did and buy a gimp on Craigslist.

Just don’t buy backlinks. Site that offer to place your link if you pay them are generally lower quality sites. If you’re linked up too many times with known spammers, then your rank will actually go down. Sites that sell links are usually known spammers.

General rule, the more important a page, the more important they make your page when they link to it. Make friends with the right people and get them to give you a shout out in their blog.

You can also check to see how you’re doing by looking at your Alexa ranking. This will tell you the keywords commonly associated with your site, as well as how many web pages link to yours.

Just go to the tab site info, then enter your page name;

Then, you’ll get results that look like this.

Right now, I have 57 backlinks to my site and my rank indicates that while I’m a blip on the web, I am not completely invisible. You can click on the link number to see what sites are linking to your page.

This will also tell you the most common keywords found on your page. Mine suck, because they’re way too competitive, or completely obscure. But this is about backlinks, which I’m not doing too bad in

Other ways to increase your backlinks, beside making friends, include a hub-and-spoke web site up. This is where you create a main webpage, and several other mini Web 2.0 pages that link to it. This is a pain in the ass and I don’t have the stamina to go over it for now.

But at least you know why backlinks are important…and you can’t get that fucking Tommy Tutone song out of your head. .

Keywords and Finding Quality Bestiality Sex Tours

SEO is short for search engine optimization. One of the biggest things SEO depends on is keywords. Keywords tell the search engines what your article is about. For example, say your running a ‘Bestiality Sex Tours’ site

Your goal with your website should to to be the number 1 site that pops up when someone Google’s ‘vacations where I can have sex with animals’.

Back in the bad old days, spammers could get people to their pages through simply throwing the words 'vacations where I can have sex with animals’ into their content a hundred times, even if it made no sense to do so. They would make it the same color as their background and paste it in as invisible text.

Then, all the poor bastards out there looking to tour the world while doing it with animals got sent to poor quality sites. Their vacations were nothing more than a set of keys to a barn, not a beautiful weekend in Catalina romancing an alpaca.

So Google got smart and they released their Panda on those spammers asses. They also released a Penguin later, but that guy’s job was less important. Mainly, the Panda beat down the spammers and the Penguin came along to poop on them afterwards.

Panda is Google’s algorithm. Penguin is like Panda's wing man. It does the same thing, but on a smaller scale. Tricks like keyword stuffing and hidden text no longer work. Instead, quality works. Panda is based on how the human mind thinks because it was developed using actual people

A test group was given thousands of sites to go through, based on a certain keyword. The people on the study were asked questions like ‘did this site answer your questions? Is it really relevant? Do other sites use this one as a reference?’and told to score the site using a number.

Then, they used the way people thought to break it down to an algorithm.

When working with keywords, quality matters far more than quantity. In fact, you might get kicked in the ass for using too many keywords. When using keywords, pick a subject about your keyword. Then, let the writing flow naturally.

Afterwards, spell check, grammar check and spell check again. Then, take your text to a keyword density calculator. A keyword density calculator will tell you if you’ve used the keyword enough naturally or if you need to cram it a bit.

Take a look at the below example.

In this instance, my keywords were “animal sex” and “bestiality sex tour”. While many people disagree on density percentage, I have found 3-5% is the sweet spot.

You can do the math without using a calculator. The formula is;

 # keyword occurrences/total words.

I like to use a calculator to be exact.

Keyword Density Calculator

If you don’t have enough keywords, don’t stuff them in anywhere. Instead, edit and make sure they flow naturally. Sometimes, all you need to do is delete a sentence to get it just right.

Keywords are a bit easier than you think, as long as you’re a good writer. However, in the future, I’ll be bringing these up again and again, along with the word ‘quality’. You’ll probably want to punch me in the throat to get me to stop.

And I’ll probably enjoy it.